Car Review: 2022 BMW Alpina B8 Gran Coupé

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The 8-Series Gran Coupé is, arguably, the best-looking car in BMW’s stable. It’s a pure grand tourer with a long hood, sleek profile and tight rear-end. Of the available 8s, the new 2022 Alpina B8 Gran Coupé has to be the pick of the crop. There’s a more purposeful front face complete with a splitter; at the back-end there’s a sharper diffuser along with quad tailpipes. It’s a sassy yet understated look that makes the B8 a proper sleeper.

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Alpina’s tuning roots go back to 1962 when the company developed a twin-Weber carburetor and intake manifold kit for the lacking BMW 1500. The kit put some fire in its belly and has gone on to represent the company — a stylized version of the original carb kit and a crankshaft form Alpina’s logo today.

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Since then, the company has evolved into a full-fledged operation that takes a number of BMW models off the assembly line and then gives them the Alpina once-over. The company’s work may be less well known here in Canada than it is in Europe, but for those who appreciate it for what it is, they discover a rare gem. You see, the Alpina B8 — the B for benzene or gasoline — can be whatever the driver wants. It is a sedate grand tourer that wafts it riders along; it’s also a corner-carving demon that belies its size. After all, it rides on a 3,023-millimetre wheelbase and tips the scales at 2,191-kilograms!

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Alpina’s extensive rework starts under the hood. While the B8’s engine has the same 4.4-litre displacement and twin-turbochargers as its 8-Series counterpart, there are massive water-to-air intercoolers with 50 per cent more cooling and a larger cooling system that allows the engine to keep its cool when its considerable muscle is used to the maximum. The combination not only ups the horsepower, it brings the torque down to the bottom-end of the rev-range.

In this case, the turbo-V8 produces 612 horsepower and 590 pound-feet of torque anywhere between 2,000 and 5,000 rpm. It fires this lot through an eight-speed automatic transmission and all four wheels. Again, the transmission and xDrive system have been tweaked by Alpina to make the B8 feel sportier.

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The test proved the low-end torque is one of the B8’s most endearing traits. Mash the gas pedal at just about any speed and all that low-end grunt sees the B8 picks up its larger side sills and blast forward at an alarming rate. It runs from rest to 100 km/h in 3.4 seconds, which is very good and just shy of the mighty M8!

However, it’s the mid-range where the powertrain combination really begins to show its true colours — hammer the gas at 80 km/h and it reaches impounding speeds in short order, and it does so while pushing the riders back into the seats with surprising authority. What underscores the overt turn of speed is my stopwatch clocked the 80-120 km/h passing move at 2.2 seconds and it has a bewildering top speed of 324 km/h. Thankfully, the B8 is equipped with a large set Brembo brakes painted Alpina blue, so they remain fade-free even when asked to scrub off impossible amounts of energy!

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The range of drive modes verges on overkill. There are two Comfort modes, three Sport modes including a mix-and-match Individual setting along with an Adaptive mode. The latter changes the drive characteristics according to what the driver is doing. This lot is then layered with Drive, Sport and Manual modes for the transmission.

For the most part, Comfort or Comfort Plus in Drive is best for prowling the city. In Comfort Plus, the suspension, engine and transmission all work together to deliver a plush grand touring ride that takes the sting out of the roughest road.

Switch to the other end of the mode spectrum and the B8 becomes a corner carving machine that hides its size very well — Sport Plus with the transmission in Sport mode brings the very best out of the Alpina. The tuned suspension banishes body roll, the engine and transmission are primed to pounce and the response to steering input is as sharp as a new razor.

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Part of the poised reaction to driver input boils down to the Alpina-tuned four-wheel steering. It can turn the rear wheels up to 2.3-degrees is the same direction as the front wheels, which brings amazing agility. When driven with purpose the B8 feels more like 5 Series in terms of its responsiveness and the manner in which it hugs a decreasing radius corner. That, by any measure, is no mean feat! On the flip side, turning the rear wheels in the opposite direction to the front wheels shortens the turning circle.

The missing ingredient is the custom exhaust system is not as visceral as it needs to be. Yes, there’s more growl and it builds to a bolder crescendo, but in the end it’s still a little shy.

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Inside, the look and feel mirrors that of the M850i, although the tester’s optional two-tone Merino leather and real black Ash wood accents make it feel a cut above the already high-end 8-Series norm. The subtle differences are found in Alpina-themed instrumentation, a unique steering wheel with the company’s blue and green stitching along with crystal on the shifter and iDrive controller. There is also an Alpina badge for good measure.

These touches add a dash of bespoke flair to the cabin, as does the Bowers and Wilkins Diamond sound system — the quality is symphonic. The rest of it is all 8-Series Gran Coupé. This means plenty of stretch-out leg space for the rear riders and 438L of cargo space.

The 2022 BMW Alpina B8 Gran Coupé is a beguiling drive. It is supremely comfortable when needed and a delicious drive when the road takes a turn for the better. It’s not cheap, but sometimes you do get what you pay for!