Land Rover's TReK 2020 is a punishing thrill ride

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It’s 5:45 am, and finally light enough to snap on a life jacket and plunk my butt into a very tippy kayak. The water is warm, but the fog is thick. I can make out the arc of a few other paddles, but not the faces of those swinging them. I fumble with the Garmin GPS unit clipped to my vest; the satellite coordinates are the only way I’ll find my destination (a duck decoy that must be turned over to reveal a clue written on its bottom) but my hands are wet, the jacket bulky.

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I silently envy my two teammates, who – one running, one mountain biking – will have posted signs showing them their routes. 

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I’ll later find out that five-km run was mostly uphill, and many of the mountain bikers doubled their route due to an easily missed sign. I will feel guilty all day, but at least I’ve finally started this journey.

Or rather, this Land Rover TReK.

This competition is a unicorn in the world of off-road competition. First debuted in 1996, it went global in 2001, but was mothballed in 2003. The event is being re-upped in anticipation of the release of the new Land Rover Defender, which will hit showrooms in 2020. It’s for those who work in dealerships, not seasoned pros or pampered press.

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It gives three-person teams from Land Rover’s retailers across Canada and the U.S. a chance to spend two intense days testing their off-road driving skills, navigation chops and ability to collaborate. You need all three; if you can’t find the station you’re aiming for in the dense forest (the entire thing is under strict time constraints) you can’t prove your driving skill. If you can’t collectively solve puzzles to find clues to even begin, you’ll be mired in metaphoric mud instead of actual mud. Think Amazing Race meets Survivor meets Camel Trophy.

It’s mostly men, but as one of only two media teams on the pilot wave (guys from Motor Trend were the other) this Canadian contingent of women is determined to play hard. There are disadvantages; it takes two of us to hoist the tire we will change, and I still want a redo on something called “Rat Trap.” A tight circle formed from a series of vertical rods, you drive your truck (we’re using spanky new Land Rover Discoveries) into the centre, turn it 180 degrees, and drive out. Easy, right? Nah. You have about two feet of clearance all around the truck.

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Time constraints or not, we soon learn that taking a moment to plan your attack saves time in the long run. We get out of shape pretty fast and end up executing the world’s most stressful thousand-point turn. At day’s end, we’ve missed out on one of the gnarliest stations of off-roading, plowing through water halfway up the doors. Next year.

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The night before the event, we climb into tents perched rather precariously on the slope of a rolling hill at the Biltmore Estate in Asheville, North Carolina where Land Rover maintains a year-round Experience Centre (you can pay to go and thrash Land Rovers in the muck). We’ve spent the evening finally getting a glimpse of what we will be facing, but not much of one. A laminated sheet outlines the map of the following day’s events, but with vague names and just satellite coordinates of their location, it’s up to the individual teams to decide where to go when, how to use their time, and which points are worth chasing. We have zero knowledge of which station will hold what task.

Allie, our main driver, is a crackerjack off-roader with her own Jeep tucked away in a garage back home. Lesley and I have been kicking around the industry for a lot of years, and greet many of the Land Rover instructors by name. I spent eight days lost in the Sahara desert last year on the Gazelle Rally , which means I’m default navigator (and promptly get us lost within ten minutes). Lesley can get tires off a car in a few minutes, and both women take advantage of that evening session to learn the winching system our truck will be sporting. I input all the long coordinates into our Garmin, a useful, frustrating little device that is only helpful if you’re moving. We will spend too much time the next day trudging through forests, brambles tearing at our sporty new clothing looking for clues nailed to trees.

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So, why? This event is for retailers. If you work at a Land Rover dealership, whether in back or out front, you can assemble a team to enter. It’s not free; dealers pay for a truck, and for travel costs to send a team to the qualifying waves. But that intense sense of competition, and ability to see what these trucks can really do – hell, what they were meant to do – return teams to their respective jobs with an unbelievable high. That enthusiasm translates to their work, and to sales, and the entire store.

If you Google past years of Land Rover TReK events, you’ll see a lot of testosterone. This year, there were five women on teams from the 53 competing retailers. It’s a start, but I really hope more women will get involved, and their employers will encourage them to. The winners of each wave go on to Palm Springs in January, where they get to compete in a whole new event with the new Defenders. 

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It’s physically punishing; at one stop, we’re faced with a bridge that must be built, driven across, then un-built. The heavy oak planks are green, the river is pungent with algae — oh, and in the middle of the bridge is the Land Rover logo. All the planks only fit one way: a giant puzzle. A giant, heavy puzzle. We strip to tank tops in the noonday heat, don gloves and get to work. Half an hour later, we’re stunned that we did it. We also can barely breathe and are grateful we all stink the same. 

You race back to base by 2 p.m. You’re docked for being late, and those points are too hard to earn to risk losing. They only announce the top three teams (no, not us) but it hardly matters. We’ve pushed ourselves physically, mentally and emotionally. We worked as a team, we each held up our end of the bargain (and plank) and ironed out each other’s frustrations. 

It’s an investment from both the retailers and Land Rover, and while the results will travel back to dealerships, the memory of being part of such an intense two days will last a lifetime.

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