Making your spring oil change less messy

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Changing your oil — hell, anything involved with lubricating your motorcycle — is an inordinately messy job. No matter how hard you try, there’s always something sticky to wipe up afterward.

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And that’s if you’re at all handy. If you’re ham-handed, said pool of stickiness can become large enough to be classified as an environmental disaster. To minimize your localized environmental disaster, here are three little items that I consider essential for keeping my garage floor, not to mention my hands and work smock, pristine

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Making your spring oil change less messy Back to video

Stahlbus Oil Drain Valve

This is the most important item in my oil maintenance regimen: all of my bikes having had their oil drain plugs swapped out for a Stahlbus Oil Drain Valve. Installation is simple: Remove your old drain plug, screw in the Stalhaus Valve, torque it manufacturer’s recommended tightness, and say goodbye to messy oil change.

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That’s because Stahlbus’ drain valve has a one-way check-ball. The weight of the oil — aided by a stiff little spring — keeps the ball in its seat and oil in the engine. But, when you need to change the oil, a neat little attachment — push and twist 90 degrees — overcomes the spring pressure and, faster than you can say Bob’s your ingenious uncle,  warm engine oil will start pouring out of your bike’s sump. When, you’re done, twist the attachment in the opposite direction and then screw in the little machined cap that prevents dust and debris interfering with the check valve and you’re done. Even I don’t spill… much. Stahlbus Drain Valves are available in a plethora of different sizes and thread pitches and cost about US$50. By the way, Stahlbus makes it drain valves for automobile applications as well.

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Oil Funnels

Of course, once you have — again, without spillage — successfully removed your engine’s oil, you now have to replace it without going all Exxon Valdez. To minimize my klutziness, I actually have two funnels that attack different aspects of my gracelessness.

Motion Pro’s Profunnel keeps things clean while you’re actually filling the crankcase. Most important is the circular shutoff valve, which means that once I’m finished dumping fresh Amsoil into my Suzuki — or Redline’s premium OW40 into my precious Honda CB1100RC — I can close the funnel so the dregs don’t drip onto the floor. The Profunnel even has a magnet so you can attach it to the side of your toolbox. Simple, effective, and handy. The Profunnel only has two faults: the first is that its top cap is diabolically difficult to seal, and at $49.99 it’s pretty expensive for what, after all, is a pretty basic piece of plastic.

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MSR’s Clean Funnel — $13.52 from Fortnine.ca — is not nearly as trick. No integrated check valve; no two-piece top. It is not quite as convenient as the Motion Pro when you’re actually pouring in the oil. However, it does have a reliable screw-on top and a bottom cover as well. In other words, once said oil change is over, there is virtually no possibility for your own Deepwater Horizon disaster. Yes, you do have to wait longer for all the oil to drain from funnel — again, no built-in shutoff valve — but once that’s done, the environment is safe from your klutziness.

Grease Ninja

Of course, there are more ways to spill lubricating fluid onto pristine floor than a clumsy oil change. If you’re as klutzy as I am, even simply lubing a chain can send Greenpeace into full crisis mode.

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That’s why I have a Grease Ninja. Essentially a block of plastic machined to fit your bike’s specific chain size, there’s a machined groove for both sets of link plates and then a channel through the block that aims oil directly onto said link plates. Simply hook up your chain lube’s plastic hose to the Grease Ninja’s inlet port, lay the contraption atop the lower strand of your chain and then spray away.

Oh, a little foamed fluid will drop from the chain but nowhere near as much. Besides, the lube is directed right where it’s needed rather than sprayed all over sprocket and swingarm like a spreading plague. Too cool!

The only downside is that, for the oil spray to be directed precisely, you need different Grease Ninjas for different sized chains. My old Honda’s 630 links require a different Grease Ninja than the V-Strom’s 525. But again, it only costs US$15.00. And if it saves some water fowl from having to undergo yet another bath in Dawn dishwasher detergent, it’s worth it right?