Millennial Mom’s Review: 2022 Kia Carnival

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Before I get started on this review, let’s backtrack and brush up on some entertainment gossip. I know, this is Driving , and you didn’t come here for your entertainment fix, but that’s what you’re getting. Many, many years ago (early 2008) pop sensation Britney Spears had a mental breakdown, and who could blame her? She was feeling the pressure of being on top of the world. Since then, she has been under a conservatorship where her father is in control of all her finances, among other things. Cut to 2020, #FreeBritney began trending across social media, where fans and celebrities advocated for the star, who in 2021 asked to terminate the conservatorship, under which she’s undergone mistreatment. As of this past week, her father has been suspended as conservator. There’s a lot more to this story, but that’s a story for a different site. Moving on.

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Maybe it was the relevance of the news that had me thinking of all her iconic songs, but I slowly began making connections about how Kia’s new Carnival relates to many of Britney’s songs.

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Is it necessary to review the Kia Carnival with well-known songs sung by the pop icon herself? Absolutely not. Am I going to do it? Yes, I am, because I can. If you have no previous knowledge of Britney lyrics, then I’m sorry you won’t understand all the lyrical references. Also, I’m sorry that you aren’t a Britney fan, you’re missing out.

“(You Drive Me) Crazy”

Have you ever heard a song and thought, lyric for lyric, it describes how you’re feeling? This song is exactly how I felt before getting into the 2022 Kia Carnival — well, maybe not word for word, that would be extremely weird — and there’s no reason for anyone to be this excited about driving a minivan. Yet, here I am, “I just can’t sleep.” I just want to be sure, “That I’m not wasting my feelings on you.”

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“Circus”

I initially thought the name Carnival was an odd choice for a minivan. But I gotta’ say, it’s growing on me. I think it’s a great name for a family car, and I’ll tell you why. At the carnival, you get to eat snacks, play fun games, make a mess, get a tummy ache, and if you’re lucky, the circus is in town.

Here, in the Kia Carnival, “I’m like the ring leader, I call the shots.” And the circus (my family) is always around and ready to provide the ultimate mess of snacks, games, and yes, tummy aches!

No matter how messy it gets, this circus travels with the Carnival, and the Carnival has all the space to travel well.

“Lucky”

This is a story about a Millennial named Mom. Early morning, I wake up, knock, knock, knocking on my door. It’s time to make breakfast, fake a smile, it’s me the kids are waiting for. They go, isn’t she lovely, this Millennial mom of three? Just kidding, no one says that!

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So, how does the Carnival compare to “Lucky,” a girl who has everything, and is the epitome of beauty and fame, but cries because she’s lonely.

Well, look at the pictures, Kia has been thinking outside of the minivan box. They’ve got a pretty cool looking minivan, which is much more than any of the other minivans — there are only four others sold in Canada — can say. The Carnival has a lot to prove, and as we all know, looks (beauty and fame) can be deceiving. For now, she (the Carnival) is the star of the show. And even though she’s slowly winning me over, she’s got a lot to prove to a world full of SUV-lovers — it’s lonely out there.

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“I’m Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman”

Well, Kia’s minivan history is a bit confusing. In North America, we’ve been familiar with the Sedona, and the Carnival made its debut as a 2022 model. However, in other parts of the world, the Carnival has existed for quite some time. It’s not a new vehicle, nor is it an established and well-known vehicle across the nation. In other words, not a girl, but not yet a woman. Get it?

Clearly, the Carnival isn’t going anywhere, anytime soon — I’ve seen quite a few out on the roads already. For a starting price of $34,795 (the tested top trim starts at $48,595), it’s no surprise that bigger families are interested in this minivan.

There’s no need to protect Kia, the company has tested minivan models before, and seen so much more than we know. It feels like Kia is caught in the middle, that’s when I realized, all the company needs is time.

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“Toxic”

The designers need a moment to sit back in that pointless reclining captain’s chair in the middle row to understand how little sense it makes, and maybe then, they’ll realize it’s toxic.

Quite frankly, I think it’s dangerous for kids. Sure, my son had fun leaning back in it while the minivan was parked in the driveway, but it’s unusable with a car seat in it. Plus, as much as I would love to be able to comfortably recline, I’d rather do it in my house, while watching a movie on a big TV.

It’s a nice thought and recliners work well in those luxury movie theatres or in your house, but in a minivan, it can only lead to toxic behaviour down the road. Brit says it best:

“With a taste of a poison paradise, I’m addicted to you. Don’t you know that you’re toxic?” — I fear that the more you use the recliner, the more you’ll appreciate it, which sounds okay at first. However, what does that mean for the person sitting behind you? You’ll be so accustomed to comfort that you’ll forget/ignore the needs of the person in the third row, currently suffering with no space.

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“Oops! … I Did It Again”

This minivan played with my heart.

Let’s start from the outside. Love it. I love that someone took a minute to think about the styling. I love minivans, no matter how they look (because space is my number one priority), but this one has got to be the best looking one I’ve seen — though there isn’t much competition with only four other minivans in the Canadian market . The back of the Carnival reminds me of the boxy back of the Yukon, more like a large SUV rather than a chunky minivan. And as always, it’s got wayyyyy more cargo space than a three-row SUV.

So, how much do I really love this minivan? Again, Brit said it best: “It might seem like a crush, but it doesn’t mean that I’m serious.”

“Gimme More”

There’s a lot to love, but there’s also a lot of room for improvement. In other words, “Gimme, gimme more, gimme more.” Repeat x10.

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Yes, the seats are comfortable, but if you’ve got car seats strapped into the middle row, it’s pretty difficult to get into the third row.

The top trim has no back seat entertainment, no hybrid system, no vacuum — all features that other minivan brands offer, and the Pacifica offers all three — and well, it’s not as well-known as an Odyssey. With an average of 12.0 L/100 km city driving and 8.9 L/100 km highway, it’s not the absolute greatest fuel consumption rating, but it’s a non-hybrid minivan, you couldn’t really expect better than that.

If you’re not already a fan of minivans, then it’s difficult to explain how awesome and convenient I think they are, and why they add so much value to very different lifestyles. I think my uncle said it best, “If you’ve never owned a minivan, then you don’t know what you’re missing.”

And if you’re not already a fan of Britney Spears, this is your sign to go stream some of her music, or better yet, watch some of her iconic music videos on YouTube .