SUV Review: 2021 Dodge Durango SRT Hellcat

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I drove two $135,000-plus performance luxury vehicles last week. One was a Maserati. A Ghibli, as a matter of fact. With a Ferrari engine. Some 572 horsepower, Brembo brakes all round, and exhaust music that would do the Targa Florio proud. Just what you’d expect for something costing, again, more than $135,000.

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The other was — a Dodge.

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A Durango, no less. Yes, the three-row sport-brute that, until a generation ago, was built on a truck platform and, last I looked, was being billed as Dodge’s answer to the Jeep Wagoneer family-hauler. And it costs – get this – $137,610 (with options; the base price is $116,315).

Despite its seemingly pedestrian origins, this Durango was, like the Ghibli Trofeo, much muscled. In this case, however, Ferrari’s jewel-like 3.8-litre twin-turbo V8 cedes pride of place to FCA’s 6.2-litre supercharged blunderbuss. In terms of sheer grunt, the supremely sophisticated Italian doesn’t stand a chance — there’s 710 horsepower on hand in the Dodge and, Ferrari-built or no, the Maser can’t nearly match the Hellcat’s supercharged 640 pound-feet of torque. All of which, when you sit down to think about it — as I am doing after a week of face-splitting grins — is rather silly.

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From any logical point of view, it makes absolutely no sense. Approach it from the vehicle-buyer’s intent and that much power from a three-row SUV seems nonsensical, unless your primary goal is to make two-year-old Biff in the baby seat barf. Judged, on the other hand, from the optimum use of supercharged horsepower viewpoint and things get no better, there being far better use for FCA’s most magical motor than a giant 2,590-kilogram sport-utility vehicle that’s heavier than anything this side of a Cadillac Escalade.

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Indeed, the most nonsensical excuse for journalistic boondoggle I have heard of lately came from Motor Trend magazine, using the Durango’s 710 horsepower as an excuse to visit (the rather tight and twisty) North Carolina Raceway to test its track bona fides . Indeed, this leads to the central question of the Durango Hellcat’s existence: is there even one lunatic on this planet who is going to buy a three-row SUV with the intent of track-day-ing it on regular basis?

And, even if there is, does having the fastest seven-passenger SUV on the planet matter even a little? I’d posit it’s a little like William “The Refrigerator” Perry claiming he can run a marathon faster than any other 335-pound gone-to-seed more-than-a-little-blimpish lineman-cum-running back. It might possibly be true, but as bragging rights go, surely we’re scraping the bottom of the automotive performance barrel.

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That isn’t to say it’s not fun . You climb into this ginormous SUVish thingie which, were it any larger or higher, would need one of those electrically folding running boards that geriatric Lincoln owners need to prevent quadriceps injury. Then you fire it up and “Big Daddy” Don Garlits is suddenly on the scene, supercharger whining, the whole truck — again, large — rolling to the side every time you rock the throttle. It’s dramatic — if, again, a little comical — stuff.

Hit the gas and doesn’t it fairly lunge ahead. Oh, not nearly as much as 710 horsepower might if it were in more appropriate vehicle, but lunge nonetheless. A hundred kilometres-per-hour comes up in four seconds, aided by a seemingly nonsensical “Launch Control” mode pretty much assured to make Biff in the back upchuck. And, even if bluff-bodied aerodynamics eventually blunt its charge, silly speeds are easily within the Durango Hellcat’s purview.

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Is there a market for a family-hauler that can accommodate a pee-wee team’s entire first-line and hit 250 km/h on the way to the arena?

Ditto for the handling. In Track mode — yes, there are “track” settings for the three-row behemoth — the suspension is sufficiently stiff enough, and the 295/45ZR20 Pirell Scorpion Zeros adequately grippy, to allow the Durango to play with Cayennes. And, again, while I can see no logical reason for this ability other than experiments in bad parenting — hey, honey, let’s see what makes little Biff barf most, longitudinal or lateral acceleration? — it’s still a whole bunch of fun.

Dodge even moves the torque split to a rearward-bias 70-30 split so you can throw in a little tail-wagging oversteer to tilt the contest towards latter. Again, all seemingly unnecessary — and not a little abusive — but good to know you have it in your repertoire, should you need it.

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The amazing thing is that, save for fuel economy — I averaged 20.2 L/100 km, which I think is a new personal record — there’s not much price to pay for all this silliness. In Street mode, the ride is more than coddling (even for poor, traumatized Biff), the accommodations all leather-bound, and 19-speaker Harman Kardon audio system positively melodious. FCA Uconnect 5 is a prize amongst infotainment systems: speedy, easily deciphered, and doddle to connect to your phone.

That said, the performance-tracking option that records every single take-off from a stop light seems a temptation too far. Likewise, the absolutely teensy digital speedometer makes it almost impossible to tell the difference between 120 and 160 kilometres an hour — besides the telephone polls flying by more quickly — which, given the ease with which the supercharged V8 attains either speed, is probably going to give you more problems with the local constabulary than with young Biff.

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In the end, there’s no questioning that the new Durango Hellcat is an amazing vehicle given its origins and size. On the other hand, I can’t really fathom what it’s for.

Is there really a entire demographic of Dodge owners who, having dropped their toddlers off at kindergarten immediately take off on some kind of high-speed Cannonball Run? Or, is the intended clientele the chronically-late soccer mom so tardy to pick up their multitudes of offspring — the Durango Hellcat officially sits seven, so it must be a big family — that only the very fastest, F1-motored three-row SUV will prevent the kidlets from being held in detention? Or is it that there’s a market for a family-hauler that can accommodate a pee-wee team’s entire first-line and hit 250 km/h on the way to the arena?

If those are not your immediate needs, I have absolutely no inkling what mission the Durango Hellcat is supposed to fulfill. That doesn’t mean I’m not glad it’s around.