Vacuum Review: Chrysler Pacifica Stow 'N Vac vs Dyson V11 vs Tineco Pure One S12

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You know that saying: Don’t cry over spilled milk? Well, I despise that saying. If I want to cry over spilled milk (or water, or cookie crumbs, or cracker dust, or anything else for that matter) because I’ve had a long day and still need to clean a mess, then just let me cry! Parenting is hard enough without the messes, the least we can do is normalize crying over some spilled spaghetti, or whatever you had for dinner.

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Double down on those tears after a tiring day at the beach. Picture this: you finally get home to notice the seats and the ground are completely covered with sand — seriously, you could probably make a new beach with all that sand — as well as all the crumbs of the millions of snacks that missed the kids’ mouths (so basically everything), and a mixture of everything else that accompanied you to the beach.

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Upon arriving home from the beach day, you get the kids ready for bed, then get yourself ready for bed because everything else (the whole mess) can just wait until tomorrow.

I’m not going to show you my beach mess because that needs far more than a good vacuum. Besides, Canada has way too many seasons to just be worried about summer messes; the crumbs don’t discriminate, regardless of the season.

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In essence of those annoying messes, we decided to personally test a few comparable vacuums that can get most of the work done for you, and quite efficiently. There are three contenders for this comparison. And while each has its own advantages and disadvantages, there can only be one winner in the battle of the vacuums.

Dyson V11

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First, we’ve got an older brand and if you haven’t heard of a Dyson vacuum then you’re not adulting properly. It’s super unaffordable and probably unnecessary, but it’s basically the dream vacuum of all vacuums. This specific vacuum costs somewhere in the ballpark of $900 and even an amazing sale puts it out of my vacuum price range (which is why I had to borrow my parents’ Dyson for this comparison). Keep in mind, Dyson’s got a ton of products that range from do-I-really-need-this to I-could-buy-a-used-car-with-this-money types of expensive. So, you’ve got options. However, with a plethora of reviews and years on the market, it’s pretty reliable and regardless of the price, we know it works.

This particular cord-free Dyson comes with a load of technology, including three cleaning modes: Auto, Boost, and Eco. The LCD screen lets you know how much battery you’ve got left — obviously Eco gives you the longest amount of battery life. It claims up to 60 minutes, but who wants to be continuously cleaning for that long?

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You’ll have to make space in your car if you’re bringing all the added pieces — though you probably won’t require each individual piece. There’s a crevice tool, a combination tool, a mini motorized head, a mini soft dusting brush, as well as a stiff bristle brush. It’s also extremely easy to clean and can be neatly stored on its wall-mounted charging dock.

Tineco Pure One S12

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It’s a pretty pricey newcomer that costs nearly $800, but really, who could put a price on a clean car? Everyone. If I’m spending $800 on a cordless vacuum, it better make my car look brand new. Then again, at least with this vacuum (as well as the Dyson), I’d be using it to clean more than my car.

The smart cordless vacuum comes with iLoop Smart Sensor technology. Cool. But what does that mean? It apparently means it can sense crumbs and automatically adjust its suction power. In auto mode, the Tineco has a significantly longer battery life than the Dyson, but again, who wants to be continuously vacuuming for 100 minutes? At the very least, I don’t have to charge as often — and can forget it in a bedroom rather than running it to its wall-mounted charging dock. Manual mode offers the ability to adjust the suction power with a simple flick up or down.

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It also comes with an extra battery — in case you meant to take it out of the bedroom but completely forgot and now it’s dead. In addition, there are a bunch of extras to help with different messes; there’s an LED multi-tasker power brush, full-size LED hard floor soft-roller power brush, mini power brush, 2 pre-filters, automatic pre-filter cleaning tool, 2-in-1 dusting brush, soft dusting brush, crevice tool, flexible long crevice tool, dual charging wall-mounted dock, flexible extension hose, and a multi-angle folding tube.

Finally, if you’re interested in monitoring your vacuum’s performance, Tineco took things one step further; you can connect your vacuum to the Tineco Life app and receive cleaning reports, as well as maintenance reminders.

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Stow ‘N Vac

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Finally, the most expensive of the three competitors: we’ve got the built-in vacuum in the 2021 Chrysler Pacifica. The tested Pinnacle trim rings in at about $65,000, but keep in mind that purchasing this vacuum means you also get a fully-loaded technology-driven minivan. (Well, it’s actually the other way around; the vacuum comes with the minivan, but for the sake of this article, the minivan is an added feature of the vacuum.)

The car needs to be started and must be in park for the vacuum to work. The built-in vacuum has a one-touch button to turn it on. It’s simply one button, on and off, there are no added features or extra gimmicks to increase the amount of power. There are a couple extra attachments to help clean different types of surfaces or messes. The hose may not look long, but it stretches to reach everywhere in this minivan, right to the furthest corner in the front passenger’s seat. No charging required. It is great for its purpose as a vacuum in a car that can be stored completely out of the way.

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Testing

Now, as previously mentioned, there are no beach messes in this minivan. However, after an entire day of work, I’m tired. So, I decided to let my three kids (ages seven, five, and two) test each of the three vacuums, and also do the cleaning.

For obvious reasons, my two-year-old was the worst at this job and pretty much no help when it came to cleaning or giving an appropriate review of the vacuums. She couldn’t properly lift the heavy Dyson or Tineco, but in her defense, she’s little; and in the vacuums’ defense, I assume neither are meant to be lifted by two-year-olds. She also couldn’t pull the Pacifica’s vacuum out far enough without it trying to run away from her, but it was pretty funny to watch.

Though pointless, I asked her which vacuum she likes the most, and she pointed to a cup of water and politely said, “I want to eat it,” — no help.

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My five-year-old said he liked the Pacifica’s built-in vacuum the best, but his reasoning wasn’t that great: “Because you can pull it out and it’s like air blowing…” His least favourite was the Tineco, “It’s hard to [use] because when I swipe my hand, it doesn’t work.”

As for my seven-year-old, after using the Dyson, she exclaimed, “Oh gosh, my back.” And quite frankly, I’ve never related to her more. When asked which one she would prefer to finish off the cleaning, she responded, “The built-in one, because it can pull out properly and I don’t have to move much.” Again, I can relate, not wanting to move is an entire mood. As for the cordless contenders, she’s not a fan “because you have to press a button for the other ones and sometimes it hurts my fingers.”

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So, where does that leave us? Well, for them, it seems like the Pacifica’s built-in vacuum is the clear winner. However, my kids won’t always be up to the task of cleaning, so I also tested all three.

Keep in mind, both the Tineco and Dyson vacuums come with separate parts that may have worked better in this car, but I thought it only fair to compare it to something similar to the one in the minivan, since it doesn’t come with as many added pieces — nor does it need to, in my opinion.

For myself, I decided to rate the vacuums on a scale of 1-10 in few various categories (see below). It’s important to note that my ratings are based on the use of the vacuums in a vehicle. For example, the Dyson or Tineco could be easily stored in your house, but if required mid-road trip, you’re out of luck, unless you’ve brought it with you, in which case, no , it’s not easily stored in a minivan and you would have to bring its charger. On the contrary, though the Stow ‘N Vac comes with a four-foot extension hose, it won’t reach my kitchen, unless that’s where the minivan is parked.

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If I had to pick a winner, solely based on the perspective of using these vacuums in cars, then hands-down, the obvious choice for me would be the Chrysler’s built-in vacuum. It really doesn’t get much better than that. It’s got limitations because it doesn’t have cool features, or the ability to change its power modes, but it does what it was made to do — it cleans the crumbs out of the minivan in the simplest way.

That being said, if you’re in a vehicle without the built-in vacuum, which is essentially most cars on the market, then you don’t have the option of a built-in vacuum. Therefore, the competition shrinks down to two, in which case I would pick the Tineco vacuum that’s got a few extra features. It’s so similar to the Dyson, without giving into the lure of Dyson reviews. However, if at all possible, I would treat each vacuum like a new car; if you have the ability to test out these two vacuums, then do it and try to gauge which one feels more comfortable in your hands.